Relationships come in many different packages, be it in business or in love, they all have the same rules. Working together to create togetherness and wholeness, or separate to create indifference. It’s like gears that mesh, or gears that grind away on us, leaving a pile of metal to be disposed of. The loss of the closeness that once was there. We choose the life we want and try to change our partner to match our goals. We adapt to their ways and loose our dreams, or work toward a common goal together.
In business it’s the same, we either help our customer to a solution, or we bug them to buy our way. Common sense tells us to help others first, then help yourself. But many of us are out for our own, we don’t see the big picture. The “Pay it forward” of the world like the movie of the same name. “What’s in it for me”, we think not worrying about others, we justify it but our own being and how we live, the things we own, the cloths we wear, the car we drive, etc..
Start you conversations with, “what can I help you with”, or “Is there anything I can do for you”. Not I’m Steve, I’m a worker bee, and I’d like to show you my work. You close the loop by helping yourself first. Be their friend and show your appreciation for what they need and how you can help them achieve it. A much nicer way to approach people is on the giving end, not the receiving end, of things. It is a learned technique, and takes time to develop the response to be a helper first. You’ll have a lot more friends and they will reach out to you when you need their help.
Back to love relationships, well we might love each other at first, and as time goes on we grind away at each other, by moments of dissatisfaction or temper or distraction by devices like computers, phones, friends, and tv shows. We don’t listen when partner has a need to talk about something. We tune them out, and loose communication with them. They get hurt when we don’t respond to their needs, they get turned off to us, and loose interest in the relationship. We then over react and try to please them and they say don’t bother, your just selfish and don’t see my needs anymore.
Think of it as an opportunity to help them understand that your there for them, and your sorry to have been indifferent toward them, and you are willing to make changes to create more communication and special time with them… Unless they won’t talk about it, then counseling might help both of you. Don’t judge them or be indifferent to what they need, Follow your heart and they may inturn change their feelings. and in-turn help you to make some changes to keep the love alive.
If all else fails don’t blame yourself, it takes two and maybe you were not the right person for them. Then it’s time to let go and let live. Like my mom once put it. “Let the Butterfly go” if it returns, it was ment to be. If not, change your behavior, so it doesn’t follow you into the next relationship. Be positive in mind and body, things will come to you in time… The healer of all things is “Time” it all takes Time.
I hope this helps people to understand one another, and give you some insight to how to get along with others and make friends for life. .Business partners that stand by you, and long lasting relationships will be forthcoming. Enjoy your life as it unfolds in front of you, don’t try to make it happen. Only fools do that and no one appreciates them.